Are You Dressing Like A Douche?
Here are 9 douchebag fashions curated from a list of suggestions from our fans on Facebook…. that we think would fit Mike like a penis in Snooki…. or something like that.
9. Sunglasses at night
What exactly is the appeal of wearing sunglasses at night? Does she find this mysterious and sexy? as if somehow masking your eyes will conceal your plunging V-neck tee and trucker hat. The douchiest part of wearing sunglasses at night is the aftermath, when your friends post the pictures on Facebook and your profile picture looks…. well…. a little something like this one.
8. Excessive tans
Spending the day on the beach…. cool
Spending the day at the tanning salon is…. well…. “so totally”….. douchey.
7. Overdone jeans
Do you remember the time when rhinestones, graffiti, rips, and loose threads rocked the world of men’s jeans?
Neither do we.
Maybe that’s because we’re not douches.
When it comes to jeans, less is more, so choose dark washes with clean lines and leave the sequin-embroidered dragon to your little sister.
6. Jeans falling off your arse
Are you thinking what we’re thinking?
When you’re Chris Brown or even Tom Cruise for that matter, it’s hard to dodge the douche title, but giving the world a peek at your backside doesn’t help either…. especially if your belt is a walking billboard.
The same rules apply to you too, man.
5. Popped collars
Whether it’s the mid-pop or the full-blown pop, you’re well on your way to doucheville.
Take a deep breath, relax, exhale, and release the pop.
Now…. wasn’t that easy?
4. Too much jewelry
It’s not okay to when too many blings are involved.
3. Deep V-necks
There are simply too many ways this can go wrong from a V frame for your chest hair to a chance to show off your man boobs or even and this one is for if you’re really board a chance to play hide and seek with your nipples.
When you’re competing with your girlfriend on who has the deepest plunging neckline, there is a problem.
2. Ill-fitting clothes
Men are especially guilty of this.
The adolescent douche generally has a lanky frame and thus his decision to hide behind a larger size is justified…. well…. to him at least.
In truth, he looks like he’s drowning in his clothes.
The 20 something douche, now more confident in his ways, falls to the other end of the spectrum…. tight T-shirts. He spends way too much time in the gym for his upper body not to be on display at the club.
Consider it his come-hither look…. nipples and all.
1. Ed Hardy
Our No. 1 entry comes down to just two words: Ed Hardy.
Two words, yet so much room for douchebaggery.