Are You Dressing Like A Douche?

Here are 9 douchebag fashions curated from a list of suggestions from our fans on Facebook…. that we think would fit Mike like a penis in Snooki…. or something like that.

9. Sunglasses at night

What exactly is the appeal of wearing sunglasses at night? Does she find this mysterious and sexy? as if somehow masking your eyes will conceal your plunging V-neck tee and trucker hat. The douchiest part of wearing sunglasses at night is the aftermath, when your friends post the pictures on Facebook and your profile picture looks…. well…. a little something like this one.




8. Excessive tans

Spending the day on the beach…. cool
Spending the day at the tanning salon is…. well…. “so totally”….. douchey.

7. Overdone jeans

Do you remember the time when rhinestones, graffiti, rips, and loose threads rocked the world of men’s jeans?

Neither do we.

Maybe that’s because we’re not douches.

When it comes to jeans, less is more, so choose dark washes with clean lines and leave the sequin-embroidered dragon to your little sister.

6. Jeans falling off your arse

Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

When you’re Chris Brown or even Tom Cruise for that matter, it’s hard to dodge the douche title, but giving the world a peek at your backside doesn’t help either…. especially if your belt is a walking billboard.

The same rules apply to you too, man.

5. Popped collars

Whether it’s the mid-pop or the full-blown pop, you’re well on your way to doucheville.

Take a deep breath, relax, exhale, and release the pop.

Now…. wasn’t that easy?




4. Too much jewelry

It’s not okay to when too many blings are involved.

3. Deep V-necks

There are simply too many ways this can go wrong from a V frame for your chest hair to a chance to show off your man boobs or even and this one is for if you’re really board a chance to play hide and seek with your nipples.

When you’re competing with your girlfriend on who has the deepest plunging neckline, there is a problem.

2. Ill-fitting clothes

Men are especially guilty of this.

The adolescent douche generally has a lanky frame and thus his decision to hide behind a larger size is justified…. well…. to him at least.

In truth, he looks like he’s drowning in his clothes.

The 20 something douche, now more confident in his ways, falls to the other end of the spectrum…. tight T-shirts. He spends way too much time in the gym for his upper body not to be on display at the club.

Consider it his come-hither look…. nipples and all.

1. Ed Hardy

Our No. 1 entry comes down to just two words: Ed Hardy.

Two words, yet so much room for douchebaggery.

  • Meriem

    Don’t forget the beanie wearing in hot weather while wearing an extra large Obey t-shirt

  • Gustavo

    I’ll admit, I do dress like a douchebag. I wear graphic t-shirts w/ rhinestones and ripped jeans. Sure most people will laugh at me, but it’s what I feel confident in, and that’s all that matters.

    • Gustavo, don’t be shy to dress how you feel, it’s a Free World.

  • Ines

    Thank you very much, for all your hard work. The magazine is highly informative and very funny. Thanx again.

  • Orlando81

    Thankfully, I manage to bypass most of the douchebag fashion moves but I think I’m going to find a way to slip this article to a few of my friends who need these tips! Ha! Nice post

  • Jim Wright

    I mostly used to wear a sunglasses and funky designed t-shirts at night parties during my college days, but now when I think about those days I just laugh at myself 🙂 so funny I was !!

  • Francesco Bianchi

    ahah this is funny and I can admit that I am 30% douchebag reading this ahah! The V neck point cracked me up ahah! who write these articles needs a promotion!

  • Daniel

    Excessive tans looks absolutely terrible. I hate seeing kids walking around who look like they’re completely burnt.